oh so "business-y"

So... I'm not really sure how it happened, (that's a lie...it's just too silly to explain) but in 21 days I will be shipped 250 business cards. Yeah. They are ultra girly and I believe are clad with a cheesy "filmmaker. student. friend" description...I know huh. I can't guarantee they have my correct information but I sure hope so. They say LShap Productions even though in a few months I might change the name--so soon they will be vintage? cool.

Anyways, if you want one (or like 5) of these limited edition (aka "I'm not making any more that look like this") cards, let me know. If you don't want one, I'll probably give one to you anyways. hahaha now I'm kinda excited to get them!

five of spades to defy gravity

So I had a conversation with this man today. He asked me my birthday and I replied March 5th. Without much hesitation, he took out his worn leather wallet and between a five dollar bill and a neat stack of receipts, he took out a folded piece of paper with a diagram of numbers. Then he said, "5 of Spades". Five of Spades? What does that mean? He continued, "Change. Your life will be full of change and don't be upset with that; it's just what it will be."

In any other situation I would have been a little cautious talking to a random stranger about my birthday and my life but this guy was alright... yes in a kind of odd, "I've seen Wicked 18 times." way, but for some reason I took that to heart. (Oh I forgot to mention that he was in front of me in line for the Wicked Pantages Theatre Raffle.) But anyways, could he have said anything else to me that would have made more sense in my life right now? Change?! (See my previous passage: riding the change).

I mean, yes it would have been nice if he would have said, "You are lucky" and then they would have pulled my name so that I could finally see Wicked! (front row!) But that hour wait, along with about 300 other people was worth while to hear about the five of spades. The funny thing is that I didn't think for a second about who this guy was and what his credentials were to "diagnose" my life. Usually I'd be a bit more logical and overlook this man. But I don't know; maybe I'm changing every day. Five of Spades...I'll take it.

Speaking of Broadway, being at the Pantages (even though I didn't even get to peek inside) reminded me about how excited I am around theatre, especially Broadway musicals. It would have been nice to see it (can I stress how nice it would have been?!) but it was a good reminder that at some point I want to work on a Broadway show..even if it's just a PA. That would be a dream.

I guess for right now I can go to itunes and open up the soundtrack... But here's a "thanks" to that man. Don't know his name; will probably never see him again; and I don't know if I think it's cool or not that he will probably never read this...but even though he didn't do much...he did something.

bottom line--Broadway musicals are magical. I have gotten the message to embrace change. I will never look at a five of spades the same. And I hope to see Wicked at some point before it leaves LA.

Oh and I forgot to mention that other thing the man said when we were chatting about our "odds" of winning: "If are meant to see it, you will." That stuck with me. I couldn't quite grasp it before but this guy reminded me of Clarence from It's a Wonderful Life. He was no angel, of course, but he did make me think.

Ohh and sorry, even though this is coming a year or so too late, I still can't offer you a review of this production if that's what you thought this was gonna be, but I'll see you in line for the Sunday Matinee raffle!

around me and you...

Over the last week or so I've been making my compulsive lists of what needs to be done and accomplished and what I have missed over the last year, that in the New Year I will make up for and see, watch, do, experience, listen to, pay attention to, read, or notice.

Next on the reading list, after I complete the 2nd season scripts of Seinfeld, of course, is Miranda July's compilation of short stories, "No One Belongs Here More Than You." I enjoyed her writing, that I can only describe as "awkward intimate weirdness" in her 2005 film, Me and you and Everyone we Know.

Besides the fact that I am looking forward to reading it this next month, and that Erica and I have already decided, she gets yellow and I get pink and we will discuss it over blueberry scones, I guess the reason I am writing this blog is really about her short film that she also made in 2005, featuring her and John C. Reily, "Are you Anybody's Favorite Person." It's four minutes and really strikes up thought.

The tendency for this to possibly make you sad, is natural, but I encourage thinking beyond that. I look forward to connecting the ideas of her films, this book and possibly her other works, and her art work in a way to answer tough questions such as this in a more intimate and personal, yet not self-indulged manner.

Her ideas and ways of making art really intrigue and inspire me. People who know me well are probably thinking that if I'm gonna read something other than the LA times calendar section or film readers, it must mean something. So there you go.

Are you anybody's favorite person?

http://mirandajuly.com
http://noonebelongsheremorethanyou.com/

a brilliant article; email interview with July (which I just found out is not her real name); her brilliance both inspires and intimidates me:

http://www.bombsite.com/issues/92/articles/2739

riding change with caring

it's amazing how much things can change. I have always been aware of it, but only remember it from change to change. At the point in which you think everything is constant and linear and headed toward some ultimate goal, something shifts or turns or twists. At the point when you think, "how will this situation draw out and affect the future?" its purpose transforms and its appearance is redefined. Change is natural, and always, even if it isn't obvious at first, has a purpose or interesting effect.

that being said, things also have to stay the same. Staying the same does not mean thwarting change, but defining core values within ourselves to keep a rhythm of our courage to ride the changes. History, and by history I mean any recording of the past, repeats but this is not a bad thing. History repeating cannot be something to complain about. This would only encourage collective values that are simultaneously dictated and expected, thus taken advantage of and for granted. Repetition is a reminder; a much needed reminder to realize that while time progresses, we change; we are on a conveyor belt of life, controlled by society--just another reminder of the importance of individual agency.

history changes- so does the dynamics of human contact, your thoughts about someone--their thoughts about you, the themes in films and books and plays--the course of health and fate and connection.

as much as I know this, it's tough for me to remember until something else comes along. no need to stand so strong about something for it's meaning to slip away--that being said, still CARE. Caring will last throughout these changes.

--do projects that mean something. make art that takes a toll on you and challenges your perceptions. If you are so sure or you have been there before, or know exactly what you are doing, beware--for you may be among cookie cutters--

look up, we're tiny

A song I can't stop listening to. I just saw Juno and her music is mostly what made the movie good. Aside is a picture taken while filming Dylan Jones' ranch interview for Chimes. Beauty of nature is one of the many things that make me feel tiny in this wide world.

"When I go for a drive I like to pull off to the side Of the road, turn out the lights, get out and look up at the sky And I do this to remind me that I'm really, really tiny In the grand scheme of things and sometimes this terrifies me But it's only really scary cause it makes me feel serene In a way I never thought I'd be because I've never been So grounded, and so humbled, and so one with everything I am grounded, I am humbled, I am one with everything Rock and roll is fun but if you ever hear someone Say you are huge, look at the moon, look at the stars, look at the sun Look at the ocean and the desert and the mountains and the sky Say I am just a speck of dust inside a giant's eye I am just a speck of dust inside a giant's eye"

- Kimya Dawson (I Like Giants)

Kate suggested that we take a look at this
and perhaps this.

recovering artsy-ness

So hopefully my belated Hanukkah gift will be a nice, digital still camera..but until then, I have been taking photo's of mine from other people's cameras. I have found that the photos are then a little more spontaneous and fun. On set of Chimes, the cameras that I usually use are of Steven and Alex. (thanks guys!) So as the pictures are uncovered (put on facebook) I can reveal what I called my "artsy pic" of the day. They will be out of order and random, but that's what art is. Order is boring and repressive!

Here are a few I snagged as the shadows were being cool outside of the Biko Co-op garage, when we were filming the hippie scene.

reflec(x)tive wonderings...

So, this quarter I took Film Studies 192B: Contemporary Cultural Theory. Looking back on it, it was one of the best classes I have ever taken, ever. Besides getting insights on brilliant ideas and watching some very interesting films, namely, Children of Men, Waking Life, Swoon, and Superstar: The Karen Carpenter Story, I have thought of some questions that I would like to share that I may or may not have been able to answer from this class. Many of these have crossed and settled in my mind before, but have more recently resettled. Either way, as the material in this class both boggled and expanded my mind, I feel like I will look at things very differently from now on, as I have already started to do.

Since I have the final tomorrow and given it is 3:30am, I will leave these questions with you and try to get a good nights sleep..whatever that means anymore... (Oh and if you have any insights, feel free to drop them off here) :)

-Is remembering forgetting, just as much as forgetting is remembering?

-Can you truly step outside of yourself and be a true observer, either passive or participant?

-Is anything universal? Private? Public? Personal? Revolutionary?

-Do things happen by choice or chance?

-Does coming together tear us more apart?
or
Does spreading apart bring people together?

-Are gaps in memory, faults in representing reality as a form of fiction
or
Are the gaps lost/screened moments just awaiting recovery?

-Does totality breed individualism just as much as individualism breed totality?